So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
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