he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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