Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
