Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
