If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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