Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
My feet surprised me
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