i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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