im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
