everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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