I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
