He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Randomize
