The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
