you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
