Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
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