Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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