office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
