Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
