Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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