Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
how drunk are you?
Several
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
