Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Dignity is for republicans.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
