Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
