She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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