im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
