break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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