guys are only as good as the porn they watch
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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