My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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