so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
