It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize