So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
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