Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
When are your genitals available?
Randomize