yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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