She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
When did angry sex become our thing?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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