16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
and she was petting her beer can
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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