you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
