ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
