He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize