I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
