She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
