And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
