Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
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