Pregnant stripper...not hot.
4 words: hood of his car
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
