No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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