Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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