HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
