k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Just invented taco cereal.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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