So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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