I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize