He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
