STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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