I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
