My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
