i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
