You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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