420 ftw
I cockslap morals
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
