He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
