I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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