So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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