That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
