how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
