trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
wow bdsm is so cute
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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