I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
