You can't special order awesome
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
