What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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