So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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