took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize