Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
