She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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