So drunk its hurt
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
