yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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