i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
