This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
