school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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