It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
wanna go halves on a baby?
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
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