That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
