Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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